I’m sorry that’s been your experience.
I’ve been filming people accessing their life planning process for over a decade. Examples are in the film Flipside: A Journey Into the Afterlife and Hacking the Afterlife - where people can see others speaking on camera about their own life selection process.
I understand the desire to understand how or why one has chosen a difficult path and journey. I can report that based on the research, the ones who choose the more difficult path or journey are often “wiser, older” individuals who sign up for lifetimes because they know they can handle them.
When everyone is sitting around the auditorium working out the details (rough sketches) of one’s journey, someone might say “I can play that role of creepy Aunt Betty or Uncle Pete” and we agree. “Yeah, you’d be great in that role. Because if someone else played that role I might miss the lessons.”
It’s very hard to imagine someone who is abusive, difficult or problematic as someone we’ve cast in that role. I can only report that’s what people claim - through hypnotherapy, mediumship or meditation - that they chose the players in the play, and everyone is doing pretty much what they agreed to do.
However, that doesn’t mean someone has to put up with behavior - sometimes that specific behavior is so a person can “move away” or find another path. And when they find the path they’re supposed to be on (helping others, healing others) they realize that the abuser was part of the reason they left that environment to find a different path.
There’s a meditation the Tibetans use - med means measure in Latin, so measuring one’s thoughts is useful - that one imagines that everyone was their mother in a previous lifetime. It’s a bit hard to do - but as a concept it is in the research. That everyone that is consequential in our lifetime has likely been part of previous ones.
So think of that concept of motherhood - the benevolent kind. That idea that someone has been a mother, taken care of a person selflessly - and nurtured them. (I know that’s not true of everyone, but it’s a meditation, not an intervention.) Then try to generate a “field of unconditional love” with regard to that person. The idea being, even if they’re filled with anger or hate, but generating this “field of love” and aiming it at them - like a target - one can deflect the kinds of negativity towards themselves.
And doing that meditation, “the Jewel Tree of Tibet” meditation - one can let go of anger towards others. We cannot control how others behave, but we can control how we react to them. And generating a field of “unconditional love” towards someone - even pretending to - helps us, as it helps the amygdala to function better, which is the regulator of emotions.
(That’s science - has been proven in MRI studies by Richard Davidson at the University of Wisconsin. The meditation he used was a modified version of Tonglen - a meditation on compassion and healing - but it’s the same effect. One can “cure or alleviate symptoms of depression” when doing meditation.)
So the answer is; learn to meditate.
Start by counting one’s breath to 1000 every day. In the time it takes to count to 1000, we can’t think about how others have affected us, or our reaction to them. We can only think of counting. Learn to let go of anger and fear, allow that to be a game one uses to let go of fear and anger towards others. Try some of the meditations above “Jewel Tree of Tibet” is taught by Robert Thurman, “Tonglen” is taught by Pema Chodron online for free.
We are all just walking each other home. Including Uncle Pete and Aunt Betty.
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