Sunday, 15 June 2025

RD BK X DMHC X You can’t think your way out of a feeling.

 A

SBQ – Book: Unwinding Anxiety by Dr. Judson Brewer
(Summary Bullet Quotes & Key Insights)


๐Ÿง  Core Idea

Anxiety is not just a feeling — it's a habit loop of fear, avoidance, and uncertainty that we reinforce over time. The key to breaking it lies in awareness, curiosity, and rewiring our brain’s reward system.


๐Ÿ“Œ Summary Bullet Quotes & Highlights

  • “Anxiety hides in habits.”
    → We often cope with worry through distractions or compulsions (e.g., doomscrolling, overeating), reinforcing the anxiety loop.

  • The habit loop of anxiety:
    Trigger → Behavior → Reward
    Example: Feel anxious → Check phone → Feel briefly relieved
    (But the cycle repeats and deepens the anxiety)

  • Mindfulness is a disruptor.
    Practicing moment-to-moment awareness with curiosity helps you see the loop and eventually step out of it.

  • “Curiosity is stronger than fear.”
    Replacing judgment with curiosity reduces the grip of worry and creates space for change.

  • Rewards rewire the brain.
    Noticing how unrewarding anxious behaviors actually feel helps weaken the habit loop.

  • “You can’t think your way out of a feeling.”
    Traditional cognitive approaches often fail because anxiety isn’t rational — it’s instinctive and automatic.

  • Bigger Better Offer (BBO):
    Offer your brain something more rewarding than the anxious behavior (e.g., curiosity, calm, clarity).

  • Willpower doesn’t work. Awareness does.
    Trying to force your way out of anxiety typically fails; gentle, consistent awareness is the more effective tool.


๐Ÿง˜‍♀️ Tools & Practices Introduced

  • RAIN technique:
    Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Note/Nurture – A mindfulness-based way to manage emotions.

  • Mindful check-ins:
    Pause to observe thoughts, body sensations, and emotions without needing to fix them.

  • Curiosity training:
    Ask: “What does this feel like in my body?” instead of “How do I stop this?”


๐ŸŽฏ Takeaway Message

To unwind anxiety, don’t fight it — understand it, watch it with curiosity, and offer the brain healthier, more rewarding responses. Change is not about control, but about awareness and kindness toward yourself.


Want a chapter-by-chapter walkthrough, a summary of the mindfulness tools used, or a bullet list of anxiety-busting techniques?

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