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I can offer some advice about grief. It came from someone who had passed away a year ago, and I was talking to his daughter (who is a medium.) She said “My dad just told me to move grief to nostalgia.” I asked her what that meant, and she said “I don’t know. Let me ask him.” A few seconds later she said, “He says that grief is all encompassing sadness. It feels as if you can never recover from it. Nostalgia contains both sad and happy memories of a person, so if you can move grief to nostalgia, you can begin the healing process.” That’s about the best advice I’ve heard on the topic.
It’s one thing to say “we don’t die, and our loved ones are always accessible to us.” If you have not had an experience where your loved ones are available, then that sentence will make no sense. But for those who have had an experience, or a communication from their loved ones, it starts the healing process.
I was giving a book talk at a center when a woman wandered in and sat down. She looked pretty upset at what I was talking about, which was how my research shows that people don’t die, that the reasons that they do die may be complex, may have roots in a previous lifetime, but we can’t possibly know why that may have occurred unless we ask them directly. Further, that I had filmed a number of people who claimed that in this lifetime, the tragic events that happened to them had been “discussed” or “thought out” in advance, they claimed that there were profound lessons in love associated with their passing.
The woman who had wandered him cornered me during a coffee break and said “How dare you?” She explained that she had come to the wrong lecture for her incest survivor’s group, and was outraged to say that it was possible that her daughter’s murder had roots in a spiritual journey. I sat down with her and asked if she had ever felt her daughter’s presence around her. She said she had, and had a dream about her. I said, “Well, think for a moment how hard that was for her to reach out to you in your grief. It’s hard for them to adjust their frequency to ours, especially when we’re sad or angry.”
I asked if she had been a happy person. Her mother said she was the most loving person she knew. I said “Well, perhaps consider for a moment how she would want you to live your life. Do you think she would want you to live with anger, sadness or rage? Or would she want you to live like she did, a loving person?” She said “She would want me to be a loving person no matter what.” I said, “Well, then honor her by doing that. Try your best to let go of your anger, rage about her passing, and it will help you be able to connect with her, or receive whatever message she’s trying to give you in your dreams.”
About a month later, I was at another book talk in another city and saw this woman in the back of the room. I went over to her after my talk and she had a copy of my book (“Flipside”) with post it notes on every page. She showed them to me and then looked at me. She said “I just wanted to come down here and look you in the eyes and thank you for saving my life.”
I pointed out to her that it wasn’t my doing. The book is just transcripts of people talking to loved ones on the other side from their own point of view, and it wasn’t my doing to get her to wander into my lecture. It was most likely someone else’s doing, and that someone else is always keeping an eye on her mom. That’s one way to shift grief to nostalgia; by realizing they aren’t gone, and they’re just as invested in your journey as you were in theirs. My two cents.
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Imagine a lucid dream healing event which takes place in one probable-line and shifts the person into another probable-line where the illness does not exist. Much like a precognitive dream which causes you to change how you drive to work that day, and then later you read about a horrible series of accidents that occurred on that road (which you avoided); the precognitive dream shifted your awareness and behavior to avoid a probable event.
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