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It may already be occurring to you that PDA is a lot more complicated than just ‘demand avoidance’ as its ambiguous definition suggests. Demands take on various forms such as direct instruction (‘Say thank you’, ‘Do this for me’, ‘Clean your room’) or subtler forms like tacit expectations as previously discussed. Tacit demands and expectations may plague the lives of adults more than children, as adults have no round the clock supervising authority constantly urging them to do things as children do. Therefore, teeth brushing in adulthood automatically becomes a tacit demand as there’s no one there to instruct the adult with PDA to actually do it, but the fact we all know we’re probably better off brushing our teeth for reasons of health and hygiene in and of itself can become demanding. I’ve even known of adults with PDA who have put off eating, and one could argue that this begins to overlap with classic eating disorders such as anorexia.
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That constant battle with our present moment sometimes seems endless. Sadly, we might not even realize how annoying or unhealthy it is. We fight it as if it’s our daily ultimate goal—as if our life depends on it.
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